What the *%^$#@*......!?

EXCUSE ME!!! I think there was a HUGE misunderstanding here. I said I WANTED an Ester bunny - I did not say that I wanted to BE the Easter bunny.
Anyway....Happy Easter everybunny!

What!? - Do they think dogs are stupid?

Do I look like a stupid dog?!

Hi everybody,

Somebody sent this following article to my mom and dad this morning and they read it out loud so I got to hear what some of you humans seem to think of us dogs. Made me kind of sad. My favorite things are bully sticks, marrow bones and peanuts - not milk bones and tail wagging. But what do you know - silly humans who can't go outside unless you wear shoes and clothes!

But read for yourselves:

The Dog's Diary 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!   9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!   9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!   1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!   3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!   5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!   7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!   8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary  Day 983 of My Captivity My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ... So, can you believe it? Looks like I have to polish my image and be a bit more  critical about my environment. Maybe I could join PETA or the ASPCA to make  a statement that dogs do have an opinion?

I am a fighter!

Crime scene after I was done with Leo.

So, I got into a fight yesterday. The other guy's name was Leo. He didn't talk much, was one of those non-verbal, plush things that sit a round the house here. I had tried to rip him a new a...arm last week, but then he sat there again in my dog bed yesterday, just staring at me and I lost it. I started ripping him apart. Hair first, then the complete head. The mush didn't say a thing, didn't defend himself at all. At some point though, his brain, or whatever that fluffy white stuff is, started coming out. I tried to hide the mess by spreading it all over the floor and when mom saw it, I pretended it was some new decoration style. - She didn't buy it. She took Leo, the headless coward, away, sewed him back together and sat him on a shelf. He is still staring at me, I think. I wasn't allowed to keep the fluffy white stuff either. The big, everything eating thing, that lives in the closet, came out and sucked it up. I am staring to think that I have to run my "operation fun" at night, when the humans sleep. Bummer.

Shoe-bi-du

It's mine now!

To all you girls out there: Aren't shoes the most fun thing under the sun (except for chicken, dog treats and socks, of course)? I mean - a girl just gotta love her shoes! Personally, I prefer the good old German Birkenstock: The chewy cork sole, the soft leather - love it. But as I have been told repeatedly: Don't eat Mommy's Birkenstock - she wants to wear them! Wear them! Toughen up - go barefoot like I do.  And Daddy's Birks are just too stinky to eat. So as I am making my rounds through the closet, I find these cute little black sandals. Gave it a try, chewed through a strap, ate a piece out of the sole, actually made extra room for Mommy's big toe - then, surprise - got expelled from the closet. Was allowed to keep the shoe though: Mommy's said "Here, it's all your's now!". I was happy, just don't know why she didn't look like she had fun and said something about stocking up on new shoes. Have to figure out what DSW is!

Things I learned this morning:

Mommy's little helper - so I thought!

Good looks help a lot, but they don't help you get away with everything.

Here is what I have learned this morning:

• Helping with the laundry by picking random pieces out of the laundry basket is not appreciated.
• Chewing a telephone cable isn't the same as making a phone call.
• Digging a whole between the carpet and the wall and getting caught with sheet rock in your teeth is a no-no.
• Eating raccoon poop tastes like sh... and is not appreciated
• Drinking water out of the shower is frowned upon.
• Eating soap neutralizes the taste of raccoon poop but makes bubbles in your mouth.
• Chewing pieces of the human's Birkenstock results in being evicted from the walk-in closet.

Have to find new strategies. Maybe camouflage?  Should redefine "fun" as humans don't appreciate my approach.

Go Giants!

So there seems to be a little bit of trouble in paradise and all because of the Superbowl: My female human is a soccer fan. Soccer? Is she serious? 22 little guys with naked calves chase a little ball to hit a goal? I can chase a ball by myself, am much faster and don't need a goal. But it gets worse: My big human Steve is a Jets fan. Can you believe it? Gangreen?! I don't look good in green..

I am a Giants girl, as one can see on the picture. And who in my family chose correctly? The truth is in the pudding: Who's team is still playing?! Go Giants!!! I am going to take a nap now in preparation of the game. Need to focus on howling and stealing the appetizers later tonight. See you soon.

In bed with me

Guess how I ended up here!?

I clearly remember a conversation between my big human, Steve, and my female human, Sue, about that there was no chance in hell that I would ever sleep in the big bed. Yeah, sure. I can report today, that all that talking about "dog has to be crated", "puppy needs to learn to be by herself", "humans need privacy" was just human blabla. Six weeks into living with these folks and guess where this picture was taken!?

A little crying in the middle of the night when they let you out to pee at three in the morning and stuff you back in your crate, some whining right after they turn off the lights for the night - and in no time human Steve comes running, gets all lovey-dovey and, in an unsupervised moment, I run into the room with the big bed and start jumping up the blanket. I am telling you, it works every time. Just too bad that the humans take so much space. Have to figure out how to make it my own.