Monday, January 16, 2012

Tricking Humans By Looking Innocent

Worked hard on this look!
OK, after observing human behavior for several days now, I found out that tricking them is pretty easy. Whenever you have done something that they consider "bad behavior", like eating the carpet, biting a whole in the female human's sock, dragging shoes through poop or hiding underneath the bed without telling anybody, just cock your head a bit, open your eyes widely and simply pretend that you have no idea whatsoever what they are talking about. In addition, quickly walk away from the crime scene - don't run - and play with something that they allow you to play with. (We all know that these are the more boring toys, but as couch, chair, trim and Uggs are forbidden, we have to go with these until nobody watches.) And if you walk past a mirror: Keep practicing that innocent look!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Don't leave me alone!

I have a problem: I don't want to be by myself. I am a social girl. I love being around people - day and night. My humans see that differently. Whenever they want to be let alone, they put me in the kitchen - with plywood walls in front of the door frames so that I cannot get out. I can still see them, but no matter how hard I try, I cannot get out. I call that solitary confinement - they call it "time out" for bad behavior. Same thing with my crate: They put me in at night and there I am - by myself, nobody to play with,  nobody to bite, not a soul to cuddle up to. My new strategy? Crying. I heard it works for a lot of human girls so I gave it a try. As soon as I am being left alone, I start crying. Heartbreaking and sad. Takes about two seconds for the humans to show up and talk to me or even let me out. I have heard the word "separation anxiety" a lot. That's what they think I have. Whatever works for them. The crying works for me. And if I end up in puppy school for this "bad behaviour" - just fine with me. Maybe I can meet some pups to hang out with! See you next time.