Baby, it's cold outside!

No allowed outside today.

So apparently, if one does not put on a sweater and refuses to wear a coat, one is only allowed to watch the squirrels and the birds from the inside and cannot play outside.

Cannot begin to tell you how BORED I am, but I'd rather sit in the warm house than have the other dogs laugh at me in my stupid jacket. I have gotten so good at playing paralyzed puppy, when they try to put the coat on me, that they have now given up.

So the weather outside is frightful and my coat is stupid and not delightful, and since there no way to play, in  I stay, in I stay, in I stay.

Me and Tricks and Treats

Me and my "costume". I don't tolerate a whole outfit.

Don't trust the picture! It is all show! Don't even think for a second that I really went trick-or-treating today or that I was allowed to eat any of the treats in the bucket. I was bribed, lured, they tricked me! First mom put the stupid neck tie on me and put me on the purple rug, then she put this deliciously smelling bucket full of wonderfulness next to me, gave me a treat and said "Come on, Ellie, who's a pretty girl, who's a pretty girl?!"

Pretty girl my tail!! Promise me food and I do anything, but put a pile of deliciousness right next to me and only give me one shabby treat? Excuse me - who is the star of this blog? Shouldn't the star be kept happy?

But no, apparently I have lost my girlish figure and have gotten a bit chunky. So only limited treats for me. I am telling you, diet sucks! And the Holiday Season is just about to begin. I hope by the time they put that turkey on the table I am allowed to indulge again.

Anyway, I might try to sneak out tonight and do some trick-or-treating myself. I mean, if I showed up at your house, wouldn't you give me a treat?

Happy Halloween!

Ellie

P.S.:  These are my friends Kiki and Khaki from Florida who sent me their Halloween pictures. Why don't you send me yours?

Arrgghhh!!!!

Faie - from Upstate New York! First to respond!

I stink

You can't smell it, but think dirty odors.

That’s what mom told me very bluntly last Saturday. She sniffed my neck – right where I had rub that awesome dead worm, that I found in the driveway, into my fur a few days ago– and her nose turned all wrinkled. Then she found some raccoon poop behind my ear and almost lost her mind from the smell of it. What is wrong with her? Does she not like my outdoorsy appeal? I like when I smell like adventure and camping trip and wild hunting dog. But there was no discussing it. Before I knew it, she had made me naked (took the collar off), dragged me into the bathroom, locked the door, put me in the shower and turned the hose on. I mean, we are talking about a scrub and wash, not a romantic foamy sponge bath with a squeaky rubber ducky. She scrubbed and washed and there was a grey-brown broth coming off my fur – I was afraid that she was washing all the color off of me and I would look like an albino beagle. When she finally thought that there was no more stink on me, she started to chase me with a towel. 

Shiny, none stinky, got away from the bathroom.

Too bad for her: All wet, I jumped out of the shower and showed her how much disrespect I had for her behavior by shaking all over the bathroom. Ha! There was still dirt coming off and it left a nice splashy pattern on the tiles! I must have made enough of a mess, because all at once, she started yelling something like “get out of her” and I managed to escape from being water tortured and was finally free to rub myself all over the carpet – I might have picked up some ant or fly poop. You never know until it stinks.

Me - Bad!

Got in trouble - again. Seems like it is OK for daddy to eat stuff out of the white paper bag mommy brings from the bakery, but when I get to it, I am being treated like a criminal! Mommy yelled and screamed - all for one lousy chocolate chip cookie! When she discovered that I had jumped on the couch, walked over the glass table all the way in the corner and had taken the cookie out of the bag, she did not even let me finish it. All I was left with were some crumbs and a lonely chocolate chip between my teeth. 

Sometimes I think mom is a little crazy. She was calling her friends to tell them that I ate chocolate. She called Dr. Jeff to make sure that I would be OK. Not sure why she made such fuzz about it. Daddy eats the cookies all the time and she doesn't call anybody about it!

Oh, and then she made me sit next to this stupid sign and said something about "dog shaming". I tried to blame it all on the stuffed animal, but he was useless as a partner in crime.

Wonder why daddy doesn't have to sit next to a sign after eating cookies!?

Mommy calls it "dog shaming" - I just find this embarrassing!

My little secret

Here is a secret I have never told anybody and you might think I am crazy but: I am a cat lady. Seriously, all my life I have wanted a cat. I wanted to play with it and love it and hug it and chase it around. But for some reason, cats never liked me. They run away whenever I want to tell them how much I love them. They hiss at me, when I want to arrange for a play date. They try to hit me, when I want to gently nibble their ear. What's with these things? A few weeks ago I was finally able to come closer to the object of my desire, but the stupid thing didn't want to play but just wanted to do a stare down with me. So we looked each other deep in the eye, I growled in anticipation of some playtime and approached her with a friendly bark, but she must have spoken a different language and misunderstood my politeness for attacking behavior. Silly cat! Well, at least I won the stare-down-contest. Maybe I should give up on the cats and start looking for a meaningful relationship with a bunny....

Located and approached......

.....came closer and offered quality playtime....

Almost got to touch her. I was so close....

Vote for me!

Please vote for me here!!!.

Hi everybody

So mommy entered me at my first Beauty Pageant! It is called "Click the Cutest" on People Magazine´s website and here is how it goes: They put my picture next to the photo of some fluffy little puppy thing and now they want readers to decide who is cuter, by simply clicking on the picture of the #1 cutest thing. Yes, the other puppy isn't shabby, but don't you think that I look super adorable and like the sweetest thing?

So pleeeaaazzze, click here for me - you can of course click more than once! You can vote until late tonight, Tuesday, May 21.

Thanks. Love, Ellie

Update:
Thanks, guys, for voting for me. Sadly, we didn't win this time. The fluffy thing won by snout length. But I am not getting discouraged by this minor setback. Maybe I am just better with pageants where I can wear a costume or where they are looking for the best "dig-a-hole-eat-a-bone-jump-on-the-table"-dog. Until next time.
Love, Ellie

My Service Team

My favorite vet team - Dr. Jeff and his girls.

Did you really think I could look as cute as I do without any maintenance? No way. A sophisticated beagle girl like me has her own service team! I get my pedicures at The Soapy Dog, my beauty treatments at home from mommy, daddy is my personal trainer who takes me for runs and on long walks on the beach and when I don’t feel well, mommy takes me to Greenlawn Animal Hospital. Dr. Jeff Garretson and his team really take good care of me – though sometimes they stick a needle in my butt or put a flashlight in my ear. What are they looking for? Do they want to take my DNA to clone me because I am so smart and cute? Do they think I am hiding a coin in my ear? But they seem to like me. They make me feel better when I have an itchy ear or a belly ache, they tell me how pretty I am, they put me on a table and stare at me in awe, they calm mommy down when she calls them hysterically screaming because I ate a tea bag or a ball pen or a bug and once, one of the girls at Dr. Jeff’s office even gave me a Cheez Doodle. I am telling you: I like going there. Maybe, if I am on my best behavior, they will stop sticking needles in my butt some day and double up on the Cheez Doodles.

Me and Dr. Jeff - after he stuck a flashlight in my ear.